Limited Availability Eden Chen! Wren Chau and I went on a grocery run to Albany today. I saw some limited edition Pepero and thought you might like them. They might not actually be limited edition, though. I just never see them around. Hope you enjoy!
Well if you ever need a training buddy who is in no position to judge you, I've been trying to get to the gym more.
I was thinking just the three of us. [...] Unless there's anyone you want to bring? I want to go to the art museum and Willy wants to go to the Cheesecake Factory (family tradition, I'm sorry). No plans beyond that.
If you woke up and aren't sure about it, here is a note to underscore Reality. Sorry!! Not that it's that difficult for me to sort out right now, but I guess I could see how I (you?) might get Confused if things fractured one more way. There is a weekly schedule that we keep with Willy right now. He is good at listening to us and sticking to it, mostly. When we deviate, I note it in BOTH planners to make sure I can cross-reference later. The days start to feel the same, but it's important to remember that every moment is actually unique and precious. That's why we keep track so closely. But I'm not a philosopher and I don't like thinking about it too long. It's really important to my entire Mental Space right now not to think of any one thing as too good or too bad.
Your dad calls you Chunhua. He knows you probably the best, but not about a lot that happened after you left home (except that you're Liminal and at Enodia Station now, which is likeeeee more direction than we've ever Had). You usually talk at the start of the week because it feels good to use another language for a bit. And to think about the world that's not Here. Anyway, you should pick up the phone despite not wanting to.
I talked to some people in Research and Medical about our situation lately. It could be promising. But I don't have an easy time telling them what it's actually like. When I'm awake, I want to be thinking about other things. Every second means something to me, yet I'm afraid to grasp too hard. I want to feel absolutely nothing, but I don't. I don't know how I'm going to feel if they can't help us. Or when I (you?) see Willy again. I literally can't imagine that. I don't know if what I feel is anger, or love. Or if I hate him. Or if I love him, why? And LITERALLY how???? I don't think I could ever touch him again. But I wish anyone would touch me, so maybe I'm telling you a lie. ♥
Some more thoughts and truths:
When you don't feel good, make your muscles sore. Go outside. Or dance. DON'T do drugs. It JUST makes you scared now. Sleep is NOT a waste of the outside time. You STILL need to eat. Write down even small things!! Memory is actually not so reliable. Willy is NOT the enemy and being angry at him is sooo unproductive. Beautiful things are still beautiful when you can't see them.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ding-dong ditched outside Eden's door [5/25, late evening]
Date: 2023-05-26 01:57 am (UTC)Limited Availability Eden Chen! Wren Chau and I went on a grocery run to Albany today. I saw some limited edition Pepero and thought you might like them. They might not actually be limited edition, though. I just never see them around. Hope you enjoy!
DM, 5/27
Date: 2023-05-27 08:35 pm (UTC)Text [5/28]
Date: 2023-05-28 05:10 pm (UTC)Are you going to the murder mystery party tonight?
DM, 5/27
Date: 2023-05-29 05:09 am (UTC)But I'm okay.
And we look cute.
Text [5/28]
Date: 2023-05-29 05:12 am (UTC)I am!!
I take it you'll be there too?
Text [5/28]
Date: 2023-05-29 04:24 pm (UTC)Text [5/28]
Date: 2023-05-29 07:04 pm (UTC)DM, 5/27
Date: 2023-05-30 06:26 pm (UTC)Can I talk you into taking a roadtrip?
DM, 5/27
Date: 2023-05-30 08:01 pm (UTC)Ooh, where?
DM, 5/27
Date: 2023-05-30 08:18 pm (UTC)Boston, for my birthday on the 6th.
DM, 5/27
Date: 2023-05-30 08:36 pm (UTC)My lesson was: next year is my year.
OMG yes.
I've never been to Boston.
And I LOVE birthdays.
[...]
Do you want to bring anyone else?
DM, 5/27
Date: 2023-05-30 11:09 pm (UTC)I was thinking just the three of us. [...] Unless there's anyone you want to bring? I want to go to the art museum and Willy wants to go to the Cheesecake Factory (family tradition, I'm sorry). No plans beyond that.
DM, 5/27
Date: 2023-05-31 12:42 am (UTC)Are you a morning person?
Oh.
You know that wYeah, that's cool.
Maybe we could go to a Red Sox game!!
I actually have the biggest sweet tooth ever.
But is the cheesecake actually good??
DM 6/5
Date: 2023-06-06 02:19 am (UTC)what song makes you soooo happy you feel like crying a lil bit
DM 6/5
Date: 2023-06-06 05:44 am (UTC)DM 6/5
Date: 2023-06-06 04:21 pm (UTC)im always like
sia i AM a wild one
personal note, 6/12
Date: 2023-06-13 02:42 am (UTC)If you woke up and aren't sure about it, here is a note to underscore Reality. Sorry!! Not that it's that difficult for me to sort out right now, but I guess I could see how I (you?) might get Confused if things fractured one more way. There is a weekly schedule that we keep with Willy right now. He is good at listening to us and sticking to it, mostly. When we deviate, I note it in BOTH planners to make sure I can cross-reference later. The days start to feel the same, but it's important to remember that every moment is actually unique and precious. That's why we keep track so closely. But I'm not a philosopher and I don't like thinking about it too long. It's really important to my entire Mental Space right now not to think of any one thing as too good or too bad.
Your dad calls you Chunhua. He knows you probably the best, but not about a lot that happened after you left home (except that you're Liminal and at Enodia Station now, which is likeeeee more direction than we've ever Had). You usually talk at the start of the week because it feels good to use another language for a bit. And to think about the world that's not Here. Anyway, you should pick up the phone despite not wanting to.
I talked to some people in Research and Medical about our situation lately. It could be promising. But I don't have an easy time telling them what it's actually like. When I'm awake, I want to be thinking about other things. Every second means something to me, yet I'm afraid to grasp too hard. I want to feel absolutely nothing, but I don't. I don't know how I'm going to feel if they can't help us. Or when I (you?) see Willy again. I literally can't imagine that. I don't know if what I feel is anger, or love. Or if I hate him. Or if I love him, why? And LITERALLY how???? I don't think I could ever touch him again. But I wish anyone would touch me, so maybe I'm telling you a lie. ♥
Some more thoughts and truths:
When you don't feel good, make your muscles sore. Go outside. Or dance.
DON'T do drugs. It JUST makes you scared now.
Sleep is NOT a waste of the outside time.
You STILL need to eat.
Write down even small things!! Memory is actually not so reliable.
Willy is NOT the enemy and being angry at him is sooo unproductive.
Beautiful things are still beautiful when you can't see them.
Okay, good luck!
Love,
Eden
dm [6/29]
Date: 2023-06-30 12:31 am (UTC)dm [6/29]
Date: 2023-07-01 02:28 am (UTC)DM, 7/24
Date: 2023-07-24 11:57 pm (UTC)DM, 7/24
Date: 2023-07-25 02:51 am (UTC)Do I seem not oWhat a mess.
I see you survived!!
DM, 7/24
Date: 2023-07-25 02:52 am (UTC)DM, 7/24
Date: 2023-07-25 06:21 am (UTC)Did you do clean-up stuff with Research? I saw some people with clipboards.
Those vines were TOUGH to pull.
DM, 7/24
Date: 2023-07-25 09:57 pm (UTC)I was just taking samples and data. I'm not built for physical labor.
DM, 7/24
Date: 2023-07-26 02:45 am (UTC)WellBUTIWait, did you get pollened??
DM, 7/24
Date: 2023-07-26 02:47 am (UTC)DM, 7/24
Date: 2023-07-26 04:45 pm (UTC)DM, 7/24
Date: 2023-07-26 05:04 pm (UTC)DM, 7/24
Date: 2023-07-27 01:02 am (UTC)DM, 7/24
Date: 2023-07-27 01:11 am (UTC)9/12
Date: 2023-09-12 04:34 am (UTC)9/12
Date: 2023-09-13 03:24 am (UTC)9/12
Date: 2023-09-13 05:12 am (UTC)besides like the normal sort of bullshit